read daddy's blog abt whether
memories of someone you love can be erased.
memories of someone i love will stay i guess..
but im not so sure abt someone i loveD.

i have this amazing ability to forget,
and this equally amazing ability to remember.
it's almost like i have a choice over them.
the art of forgetting, is remembering,
and the trick to remember, is trying to forget.

of the people i loved,
i remember the wonderful memories,
that make me happy n remb the feeling of being loved;
i remember the horrible memories,
to remind me why ive stopped loving.

i guess everyone knows this,
that the present is most important.

One Friday of Fridays...

I'm losing it... i'm tired and i'm just losing it... I have thoughts of doing Occupational therapy instead... Of cos physio's still my love and besides that, i have no idea what else to do. I've been looking towards God and i keep asking him if this is HIS plan for me or is this me being stubborn. But there's no answer yet...




Maybe... I'm just deaf...
Training has been uno for me... i'm going for another Op on my knee. Yes, the same knee and the same spot. Which means, no racing for me this year. I'm just wasting away, becoming a blop of mass as the days past. Please don't blame me for feeling this way...


You won't understand it till you've experienced it yourself...
IMAGINE... not being able to do something you love...

What Color is Your Brain?
brought to you by Quizilla

there are so many things that i wanna do
but so little time n so little energy.

i wanna earn loads of money
i wanna give my cousins a better life.
i wanna give them wad they need and want
i wanna help them grow up well.
i wanna make them feel loved
i wanna teach them everything i know
i wanna help my aunt out with the house
and give her a little happiness.

i wanna help my mum out
let her enjoy life
n give her more money
i wanna help my bro out
pay my own school fees
pay for the house payment
pay for the bills.

why am i only seeking my own fulfilment?
why am i the selfish girl i am?
why do i seek only things i wan?
when i could spend the time on my family
instead of trying to feel life on my own.
my family does not deserve this.
it does not deserve a girl who cares for herself only.
it does not deserve a girl who comes home tired,
from the activities that satisfy her selfish needs.

hearing wad my aunt told me
seeing wad happens in her house
leaves me feeling useless.

heh the kayakin course was fun!
and the sun was good..
im like using the whole bottle of baby lotion.
hope it works!
i dowanna peel..

kayaking with nana is fun!
she's got a good sense of rhythm
very easy for pple to catch up with..
and she's got a superb temper.
dunno how many times i've mentioned before
but her temper is superbly good.
or prob she just heck
and take a step back
to laugh at things
instead of getting curled up in them.

i think the pink panthers paddlers were pretty cute.

saw this from gaozi's blog
and did it.
have i done it before and gotten the same answer?



cuddle and a kiss on the forehead - you like to be
close to your special someone and feel warm,
comfortable, and needed


What Sign of Affection Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

this is so screwed.
3 nieces came over to my place
i was doing my stuff in my bro's room
den "clang"
my bro's bottle of shells n hearts broke.
it was a really sweet bottle of
very tiny n pretty shells
and paper hearts.
i used to look at it a lot..
think theres alot of memories in that bottle.
so anyways. yeah
after my mum knew..
she came in,
scolded me.
wow.
as if i wasnt feelin bad abt it
the best part is
if i dun let them into the room
i'll get scolded
and when i let them in
and things happen
i get the scolding too.
maybe when kids come over,
i should just disappear.
urgh

You are Lust!
Sexy!! But they say that theres such a thing as too
much of a good thing. You have sex on the
brain, and it doesn't stay just there for long.
Passionate, Fiery - and most certainly
confident. You're a fun loving, spontaneous
person who is always up for a laugh. People
however, have trouble keeping up with you.
You're sex crazy, and perhaps need to tone it
down a bit! learn a little self control!
But, Hey, Congratulations on being the Sexiest Red
Hot deadly sin out of all the 7...


?? Which Of The Seven Deadly Sins Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla

WHAHAHAHAhahahahahahAHHAHAHAHHAHAAH...

I am the Siren A man is often secretly oppressed by the role he has to play - by always having to be responsible, in control, and rational. The Siren is the ultimate male fantasy figure because she offers a total release form the limitations of his life. In her presence, which is always heightened and sexually charged, the male feels transported to a realm of pure pleasure. In a world where women are often too timid to project such an image, learn to take control of the male libido by embodying his fantasy. Symbol: Water. The song of the Siren is liquid and enticing, and the Siren herself is fluid and ungraspable. Like the sea, the Siren lures you with the promise of infinite adventure and pleasure. Forgetting past and future, men follow her far out to sea, where they drown.

What Type of Seducer are You?
created by polite_society

Friday

It is .. a F r i d a y. . .
And i thought i cld get my weekly dose of ride. But it's gonna be a stormy weekend. You know how it feels? Serenity overwhelms me.. and it feels like a huge load is off my shoulders. Swwwwwissssshing and swwwoooshhhhing along the roads, through the paths, passing other cyclists. Going at 35-39km/h.
But no.. it has to be a stormy weekend. And trust me.. stormy it will be..



-gasping for air-

I am the Natural Childhood is the golden paradise we are always consciously or unconsciously trying to re-create. The Natural embodies the longed-for qualities of childhood - spontaneity, sincerity, unpretentiousness. In the presence of Naturals, we feel at ease, caught up in their playful spirit, transported back to that golden age. Adopt the pose of the Natural to neutralize people's defensiveness and infect them with helpless delight. Symbol: The Lamb. So soft and endearing. At two days old the lamb can gambol gracefully; within a week it is playing "Follow the Leader." Its weakness is part of its charm. The Lamb is pure innocence, so innocent we want to possess it, even devour it.

What Type of Seducer are You?
created by polite_society

The Three Questions

read this off Wanda's blog,
shall do it too =]

and i quote as she quotes:
I want everyone who reads this to ask me 3 questions, no more no less. Ask me anything you want and I will answer it. Then, I want you to go to your journal, copy and paste this allowing your friends (including myself) to ask you anything.
Great idea! Let's get to know each other a little better, shall we?

saw the test off june's blog..
aie i'm a sloth too


You are Sloth!
Lazy huh ?? You're a bit slow in getting going -
and tend not to do anything unless it is
absolutely necessary. You'd rather sit around,
watch TV/Sleep then go out and about with
friends, or take part in a sporting event. On
the positive side, you tend to be quite smart,
as you spend a lot of time watching the News
(!!) or on the computer, Also by conserving
your energy, it's right there waiting for you
when it's vitally important to get going.
Consider possibly moving out of the room once in a
while - and perhaps once a week trade watching
TV for half an hour with a walk - and you'll be
back on track.
However, Congratulations on being the most
intelligent of the 7 deadly sins...


?? Which Of The Seven Deadly Sins Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla

Imposing YOUR values on OTHERS

realised pple have been imposin their values on me.
m reflectin on whether i have been doing so to others.
let me tell u this:
i am 19 years old,

ONLY 19 years old,
so i welcome comments n opinions
cos i have not seen as much as u have.
even when i'm older,
i'll still welcome comments n opinions.

ALREADY 19 years old,
so DO NOT judge me with ur values,
and DO NOT impose on me them.
i can make my own judgements,
tell me ur opinions, yes,
but do not tell me what to do.
T H I S I S M Y L I F E.
you understand?
if u wanna live in ur closed up petty world,
that's ur business, not mine.
DO NOT assume ur world is the best.
DO NOT assume wad u're doing is the best.
cos i am entitled to my own judgement.

Difference between Joking n Criticising

"haha, u so ugly, of cos they dowan let u in lah!"
this is a joke.
bringing it further,
"haha, u so ugly, of cos they dowan let u in lah!"
reply "thanks leh! but no lah the other time i went in before.."
"huh? really? but i always thought they only let in pretty pple."
(in a serious tone, really considerin the possibility)
this is a super insensitive comment.

ok, time for disclaimer..
i think jokin n criticism can be subjective..
to context,
to tone,
to people with different views,
to the speaker n listener,
and there may be more i cant list.

to the speaker,
the above statement might only have been
a pure stating of his thoughts.
that he was just being straightfwd,
and frank, and truthful.
however, it is totally tactless.

in this case,
showin displeasure n disgust at the speaker
could be a case of:
1. pettiness
2. real disgust at his insensitivity.

it only takes a few moments
to process the stuff that u wanna say
into ur 'Big Brain",
as the laymen so often call.
why splurt those tactless n useless comments
and display ur wonderfully disgusting nature
when u can take a bit of effort in trying not to do it?
oh. i perfectly understand.
it's becos u totally are not remorseful.
that u really feel it's nothing
and the listener is just being pathetically sore.
then, stay the disgusting way u are,
and i shall say no more.

::lesson of the day::
u can't judge everybody by ur views.
everyone's unqiue in his own way,
with his own outlook on life.

It's a Monday.... A g a i n....
And like every other Monday, i'm feeling the blues. A porcelain cup, filled with milk between me and my lappy. I look down into my cup of white fluid and in it are brown specks. Biscuit crumbs are they. Hmmm... I dunk a caramel and pecan cookie into the milk, it drips. taking a bite i feel the cookie melt in my mouth as the predatorous enzymes in my saliva works hard on it's prey.
It's almost like an o r g a s m. . .
Damn! I ran out of milk! -whines-

had trainin today..
saw the nus team =]
started drizzlin while we were waiting
for the rest of the teammates to reach
was drizzlin a little when we did
our jog n sprint thing

rowing was fun.. duh.
i shall try to train up more
and catch up with them.
stopped drizzling when we were rowin
but i dun remb when it stopped.
when we were far out in the sea,
lionel told us all to look at the sky --
"this is something that u cant see on the roads"
one side was pouring,
another bright n sunny.
and.. we were gonna row into the rain!
the feelin was unbelievable
when we rowed into the rain
the water on our lips were no longer salty
huiling told us to close our eyes,
use our breathin to control the strokes,
feel the rain beatin on our skin
and row as a team.
our mood was really good..
at least those around me.
we were so happy and all.
the feelin's something ive never felt before,
i think.
rowin from sunshine into rain.
tho we really like to tan
the rain felt so good on our skin.

wad i acquired from rowing today:
1. it's like jogging, it's harder to pick up
once u've stopped in the middle of it
2. i learnt how to breathe with the strokes!
3. i can look at the left rower (im right)
and still be in sync -- no need look at the one in front
n get all the seawater in my eyes..

had lunch with lewis/louis, lionel, mark(or so i think),
dion, somebody, minister, ex-cleaner, senior **, somebody.
ten of us..
sat on somebody's truck..
had lunch at raffles city food court!
10 of us trying to find seats tog.. haha.
got it in the end.. thou it was four n six.
couldnt join them tog cos
the cleaner auntie screamed at us.
got to know them a teeny bit more..
hope will have more of these to come.

came back, tried to find my blankee online.
couldnt find..
asked nana to help me keep a lookout
and let me know if blankee comes on.
seawater strained eyes make u feel like sleepin.
oh yeah,
on the way back with senior ** n minister,
saw the navy ad on the mrt.
the one that's been there for a long time --
"Life tastes better with salt."
bleah.. haha
it was then that i discovered
that i wasnt the only one getting all the seawater
and salted sausage lips at the end of it.
seawater does not taste good. haha...
not when u taste it for 2.5 hours..

blankee.. where r u??
the bad thing abt distance..
i dunno if u're safe.
please be.
i'm too dependent on u for anything to happen now.