its been some time.

been some time since i last blogged properly.
really, i havent had the time.

to me, not having time is not an excuse-
its the cost of a choice.
choice of doing something else.

im past the time when i cant nap for fifteen minutes
without a phonecall or sms coming in.
well, almost.

busying with stuff made me choose.
i had no time for some friends
na, yz, zs, programmers, kimmy + wackys.
i always thot the friends who still stay with me
are those who understand my schedule
cos those who have left did not.
its not that i take it for granted,
i don't.
well, it's.. complicated.
but i must say i didnt expect this.

and im tired of explaining..
i think silence's the best way out.

was telling lane that ive become more cynical.
yet while being that, ive become more appreciative.
so i cant decide if im cynical or not.
thru'out tvm,
i was goddamn lucky i must say.
the people who stuck by me
who understood the situation
listened and appreciated.
i felt sooooo loved.

i feel that ive learnt more in those 2 weeks
than in three years of nus - theatre n eq wise.
seeing that many faces of human beings,
dealing with wad i thought was more than i can handle.

i treasure the lessons learnt.
that maintaining connections is an art.
and probably one i can't do so well.

one valuable thing i took back
is the change in me.
the im-leavin-this-n-learning-sth-else-cos-im-not-good-at-it
element in me is trying to sleep n die off.
i cant give up just cos i think
or sometimes other pple think i dont do it well.
cos the only way to change that sad fact
is to overcome it.