im tired, again.

tired. really.

slept right thru my marketing tutorial.
at home.
i totally forgot abt it until james smsed to see if i was reaching already.
woke up eyes red, couldnt even smile at lola.
made myself breakfast, went to school.
saw reilly at the bus stop,
waited fifteen for the bus 10
which took fifty minutes to reach school.
fell asleep twice on the bus, both times woke up by work.

i wanna stop being bossy.
i wanna stop teaching pple how to boss.
but i dont know how to.
i dont know how to go pple's ways anymore.
u cant just call me and tell me youre feeling lousy,
expecting me to let you lead,
when uve gone for an era.
cos i hafta start right from the beginning.
you cant ask me to let u lead a section
when i have to tell you how to delegate the job.
do you know wad i mean?
i wanna be rid of the many things too.
but when i see how you do it,
id rather do it myself.
when i forget how you do it,
teaching you all over again kills me.

i cant remb how many times ive dozed off,
only to be awakened by the handphone.
maybe i should be glad its dying on me.
i wont get a new one, i tell ya.
ok im kidding.

im tired in the other sense too.
im tired of playing the game,
im tired of treating people like fuck in the r/s.
im tired of being treated in the weirdest way possible.
im jaded.

but i dont know how to get outta this mess.
really.
maybe i dont want to.
maybe i dont know how to.
maybe, it's a combination of both.

im just waitin for most work to be over,
and drown myself in the divine liquid and saintly air.