comfort in the grand narratives

"but arent u unquestioningly following sth u dont know?"
how many times have i heard myself ask people.
and ive been askin myself this a little bi recently.

i always knew there was security in faith
just as there is in trust.
its probably the falls that make people question,
question things that never failed them before.
because of one setback,
people grow wiser,
or more cynical, put in another way.
i am a field of conflict.
a field of ironies.
ive found myself thanking you
for all the stuff that go my way,
and trusting that the bad stuff,
if any at all,
are signposts that'll point me in the right direction.
i cant describe the release ive felt
after ive surrendered myself to you.
to trusting that you know what you're doing.
this is probably the reason why
i cant come to terms with myself regarding another issue-
cos i dont trust.

the ironies of life.
the choices we make.