i read this somewhere -
"people attempt suicide in the hope of feeling relief,
but relief is a feeling,
and you can't feel when u're dead."

i don't think people attempt suicide to feel relief.
i think people attempt suicide to stop feeling.
but what if,
just what if,
there is another life after death.
will u feel that way forever in the life after death?

suicide is a very selfish thing.
i never doubted it.
but when things come to a point
where the hurt becomes physical
and u feel paralysed,
u just can't help it.

"suicide is when pain exceeds the body's resources to cope with pain."

no, i'm not feeling suicidal.
there're alot of things holding me back.
the money that's lost to insurance policies forever,
the cpf money i owe my bro for education,
the money i've used up from my family for so many things,
the concern i owe alot of people.

most importantly,
i want to feel better.
it's tired to feel jaded n helpless,
and the only way to get better,
is to feel better.