horrors of horrors

horrors of horrors

fergot to set my alarm clock
n woke up happily at 11.27am.
almost messaged my student to postpone tuition
when something struck my head--
i wont have time for a make up lesson;
ok two somethings--
it's payday!
so i dragged one tonne of wt to the bathroom
bathed n smsed him that i'll be late.
reached before 12noon ok.
i'm DARKWING DUCK!

*flies to the top of a small hill
with the flap of the cloak floating behind me*

"darkwing duck!" - the music comes on.
the wind blows n my cloak floats behind
as i stand heroicly on the hilltop.

then plong i fall off the hill,
with my head buried in the ground
and my two fat legs waving frantically just above it.

tuition was good,
i could solve the revolution questions
with both, and i repeat,
BOTH the disc n shell methods.
tadaaa.
and it's not fung's credit.
it was some realisation that hit me before the As.
so anws.

grabbed some cai fan off the foodcourt,
and i suspect the auntie cheat my money.
i checked the pricelist loh!
$3.00 for 3 veges;
$3.00 for 2 veges n 1 meat--
then i stopped n thought
"of cos get 2 veges n 1 meat lah"
then i asked the uncle,
"duo shao qian huh?"
"oh, san kuai lor"
then i happily took out 3bucks from my smelly wallet.
"xiao mei, san kuai ban."
"huh?!"
the wallet fell to the ground..
n the world stopped spinning.
the colors dissipated
and i was left alone in a small 2d square
in the middle of a comic book.

the shrill of the devil was heard again,
"san kuai ban."

the colors came back and i was on earth again.
"mei you lah, uncle jiang san kuai mah.."
(reluctantly putting back the golden coin
n taking out another 2dollar note)
"wo bu hui pian ni de lah!"

nvm. the box was huge.
makes up for the 50cents.
auntie ni hao..

den it was eileen's house..
managed to finish typing
all the agreement exercises.
i'm helluva fast typer.
*clears throat*

"diu diu! diu diu diu.." sounds from a comp r heard.
the heroine decked in baggy tees n jeans leant back
on her armchair with her powerful arms in front of her
n her agile fingers on the keyboard.
she was zapping all the typewriter crocodiles..

cancelled tuition in the evening though.
felt lethargic.
n was planning on hitting town
with either donna n reilly
or the swappies.
so i was putting clothes against my body
in front of the mirror
n oh gawdalmighty.
i m o b e s e.
i had a down
n smsed donna that i wasnt gonna make it.
and i went for a half-hour jog.

the first time in my life
i felt fats vibrating.
on the arms, on the thighs.
my goodness gracious.
the first time in my life!
i must have grown so much
that i refused to believe.
so stop lying to me u bitches.
i m o b e s e.

"you are obese. you are obese you are obese."
faces loom in on the poor figure lump
crouching over her bowl of baked potatoes.
"you are obese. you are obese you are obese."
the chant continues n faces appear bigger n bigger.
finally, the bowl of potatoes disappears.
but the faces just got duplicated.
the chants got louder..

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!